You all know exactly who I mean. Those people who make you want to rip off your skis and hit someone over the head with them. (Would I ever!?)
Here are a few of my chosen favourites (you are not favourites, stop doing these things):
The Lift Lingerer
You know the ones. Comes flying down the slopes, straight to the front of the queue, through the lift pass gates and then – oh wait, where are my friends?! I’ll just wait, right here IN EVERYONE’S WAY. My pet peeve of the slopes. The worst type of human being. Wait outside the gates, or step to the side. Don’t be a DICK. Simples. This also includes the guy that stands right in the gate, then doesn’t go because him and his mate want a lift to themselves. You wanna fight?
Undecided on which is worse. Piste lingerers are definitely more dangerous but maybe slightly less annoying. You know, the people that are skiing along having a great time, and then decide to stop. Right in the middle of a piste. And take a picture. And then complain when I barrel into the back of them. Sorry not sorry.
Ski on Shoulder Swingers
I couldn’t come up with a more catchy name… You know when you’re having a nice time, minding your own business, queuing for a gondola when BAM, smacked round the head with a pair of skis as some burk tries to look behind him. Cheers mate. No my head doesn’t hurt. Yes it is normally shaped like this.
The people that come up to Folie on the lift, wearing jeans, a designer jacket, trainers, and goggles on their head. Did those goggles help you when you were running really fast for the bus to get here? No? You look like a twat.
You have no excuse. Take those monstrosities off your feet. You’re worse than a snowboarder.
I’m a skiier. Nothing more than a little healthy rivalry. I hate you all. Jokes. Obvs.
The Off-Piste Rebels
I am very impressed by people that do the off-piste thing, don’t get me wrong. You must have lovely strong upper thigh muscles and lovely large skis. But I am too much of a wuss and it’s not for me. However, the people that drive me nutty are the people that go jetting off piste like a rocket, round the piste pole and come flying back on. Straight into me. Sometimes they take off over a jump the size of a hamster and hit you mid-shin just for a bit of variety. Often to be found afterwards claiming they ski off-piste all the time. Also often found at the edges of pistes in lumps of too thick powder. Also often are 15 -year-old boys with a lack of speed control.
So there you have it. My little rant about people that make me rage in a ski resort. I’m sure there’s more out there that drive you up the wall as well, feel free to share them with me in the comments! I did smile during my week in Andorra, I promise. And I didn’t hit anyone over the head with my skis. All in all a successful week.